Parenting: Post-Traumatic Stress

What defines parenting, and why is it so damn hard sometime, all the time?

6 years back my wife and I were just starting out life together. We didn't have much money, struggling to make ends meet. Both hundreds of miles away from our hometowns. We didn't have much choice.

We sent our eldest to daycare for around a year during when he frequently caught various flu, fever and was hospitalized twice for severe vomiting and urticaria.

But the real kicker was when my wife caught one of the daycare staff mishandling our child, pulling on his ear while he was crying and refusing food.

It was painful for us as parents, to see our child suffer for a decision we thought best for him.

We then found a decent babysitter for around another year until my wife was pregnant again. She wanted a foreign domestic helper (read: Indonesian maid) as I was by then also furthering studies part-time. I hated the idea because we simply couldn't afford it and it also meant less freedom for me at home (read: no more walking around in underwear).

Nevertheless, the wife always win, so we got one and as much as I hate to say it, it kinda worked. The girl was sloppy but she was good to my children.

That was 5 years ago. In 4 days' time she will be leaving for good after 5 years of service.

We are back at a decision point for our now three children.

So, what defines parenting, and why is it so damn hard sometime, all the time?

It's not about dressing them up in fancy outfits.

It's not about feeding them meals.

It's not toys, fun, nor discipline.

I learned that parenting is about making decisions they can't make for themselves and hope to God we don't screw up.

So folks, before you engage in that 30 minutes of fun, remember that sex is very much like gangsterism.

You either pay for protection or pay the consequences.